Hello,

I decided to repost a blog that I wrote in 2009. Focusing on the process of change, I discussed the importance of embracing any change in your life versus fearing or avoiding it. I learn continually that change is here to stay and is inevitable. Learning how to roll with the changes is needed in a life and time of uncertainty. So with a few revisions, here is the blog about:

The Wisdom of Change

Have you ever noticed that the more you detest change, the more the need for change appears in your life? Let me prove my point. While it appeared outwardly that I was very accepting of and desired divergent experiences, I always disliked change and an upheaval of my “comfort zone.” I preferred the safe and secure. Then, I was introduced to the adage, “What you resist persists.”

One morning I realized that sometimes I kept avoiding the inevitable personal or professional changes that beckoned at my door. There really isn't any “remind me later" button, when it comes to dealing with uncomfortable change in our life. Change is supposed to invoke some discomfort. Ironically, it is in the discomfort that clarity is found.

If the sheer word, image, or feeling of needing to make some change, whether personal or professional, keeps appearing in your life, it is a sure sign that either you need to be proactive and make a change or inevitable change will happen to you and it may not be to your liking. Learning to be proactive is empowering, while being passive and doing nothing or deciding to wait, will cause a loss in your self-esteem and possibly your health. For example, I am truly at that point in life, where life balance is needed. What does that mean? It means that I need to take the time to care for my mind, my body, and my spirit. It means that you and I need to include activities that reflect our passions and authenticity.

When we are in tune with the need to flow with any surfacing changes, it is much easier to also understand how our life will improve as we listen to the messages of these changes. A very long time ago, I came across an article, “Good Luck, Bad Luck” written by Linda Weltner. The author emphasized that “the worst situations can usher in the most wonderful opportunities.” She pointed to the concept of “happenstance” or the belief that “chance” events can have both positive or negative consequences. It all depends on our interpretation of the event.

I interpret change as a combination of synchronicity and unconscious desire. Our external conflicts are mirroring what we feel on the inside but what we want to do on the outside. Who knows what waits for us when we break down our internal barriers and move through our fears?

We can only be comfortable wearing our own shoes. In the midst of confusion and conflict, it is easier to leave our ego at the door and hear the underlying message about our need to change; otherwise, inevitably, the experience, person, conflict, or circumstance will appear again and again in our life. Remember, what we resist persists! These changes are the keys to our future. Even minor change can light the path to our journey and ultimately to our life destination. Personally, here is where my need for life balance is showing up. It's my turn to listen to the advice that I have given to other people.

How can we address this change? There is a time in everyone’s life where we need to stand up for what we believe. We have to stand up for what makes us an individual with unique skills, abilities, interests, and passions. When we attempt to measure our individuality and success against someone else, we fail. In fact, the second that we follow this path, we fail. We fail to exhibit our natural-born talents. We fail to wear our own shoes toward happiness and fulfillment. In other words, we fail.

When we embrace our uniqueness, we now begin to welcome the changes that want to move us forward toward our destiny or life purpose. I end with the words of Linda Weltner. She writes,

"This is a bad time for the country economically. The cutbacks, the layoffs, the political and economic dislocations, are bound to be reflected in all our lives one way or another. Jobs are on the line everywhere; positions we once thought secure have suddenly become vulnerable…there’s a sadness in being wrenched from familiar routines, and the clutch of uncertainty too, but in all this shifting and grinding of gears, there’s always that faraway glint of promise.”

By the way, this article was published in 1990. The pendulum eventually swung back from loss only to ignite the creation of significant jobs across a multi-technological arena. Today, we face the same hurdles. The pendulum will swing back again only to create highly creative, innovative, and emerging industries. The current paradigm shifts in economical, community, and global systems are and will continue to be the result of change.

So, what change beckons you? What part of your personality do you need to change? What area of your life could benefit from relevant change? How can you give voice to a new change?

Bottom line – Embrace change and your unique personality that begs for expression. Instead of following the crowd, use your innovative skills to promote understanding, acceptance, and even anticipation of…change!

Take care.

Lorraine

How Music Helps to Heal the Injured Brain - Dana Foundation

How Music Helps to Heal the Injured Brain - Dana Foundation

Calling All Change...

In an earlier blog, I discussed the "Wisdom of Change." I can tell you that change has followed me around all of my life. In fact, the more that I didn't want to change my perceptions, actions, reactions, beliefs, attitudes, or whatever, the more that I was forced to check my "change lens."

I mentioned in that earlier blog that change knows when to call on you. If the feeling or thought of needing to make some change, whether personal or professional, keeps appearing in your life, it is a sure sign that either you need to be proactive and make a change or inevitable change will happen to you and it may not be to your liking.

So, how do you go about making a change in your life? How and when do you decide to stop wearing those way too comfortable, beat up shoes and start to trade them in for some new shoes that may take some time feeling comfortable? A long time ago, I read a book by William Bridges called Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes. It is a great and informative resource for anyone experiencing a life crisis, personal transition, or an "age" change. The author recognized that while the "letting go" of an unworkable situation is difficult, it seems that trusting the next step is even more painful. I like to point to the "fear of the unknown" as a factor. Future choices always demand bold risks.

Any type of transition or change also signifies some form of renewal, whether it be in the form of a thought process, behavior, person, activity, and in today's economy, a job or new career. Bridges noted some rules to follow, while being in a state of transition. He said to remember that the element of "resistance" comes up and most importantly, first, there is an ending, then, there is a beginning with some "empty time" in between.

I never liked that last point. What are we supposed to do with all of that "empty time?" Actually, that empty time is a blessing. Time doesn't have to be empty. It can be a time to explore some of your passions. It is a time to start including a creative activity in your life. It could be a time to clean out your closet and become involved in some serious decluttering in your house. By getting rid of items that we have outgrown or that serve no purpose, this opens the door for more improved items or situations to enter our home and life. Here is the point where the new beginnings can start to take shape. We have to trust in this process.

Also accept that change comes with some confusion and distress. Those are normal reactions to any transition or impending change. Here again is another opportunity to use some of that confusion as a spark of energy to move you toward another place that suits your inner core. Sometimes, ambiguity forces us to explore alternative options. And sometimes, we need to just stay with the ambiguity, until it decides to reveal those other options. In either case, you are learning new coping skills. Maybe it even means that you are taking the time to find out how you cope. Sometimes, we become so busy in the "doing" that it becomes robotic and we never identify coping skills that may not be working for us anymore.

Thus comes a shift and we find ourselves reacting differently to the challenges that are appearing in our life. I have learned that whenever I am being forced to elevate my personal growth, my life jolts me out the proverbial "comfort zone."

So how can you increase your chances of finding inner meaning and purpose from all of these changes? Instead of reinventing the transition wheel, here are some of Bridges' ideas.

• Take your time
• Don't act for the sake of action
• Recognize why you are uncomfortable
• Take care of yourself
• Talk to someone
• Use this transition as the motivation to learn something new
• Recognize (even if you may not like it) that transitions follow a certain process

The next time, I will discuss more about this change "process." In the meantime, take the time to learn from the changes. Be more observant of your world and follow some of your passions.

Until next time.

Dr. Lorraine

Writer's Block: A Metaphor for Life

"Man cannot discover new oceans until he has the courage

to loose sight of the shore." Unknown

If you are a writer (or for that matter a creative person), you, along with other artists, contain a wellspring of magnificence within your soul. Your job is to tap into those gifts. There may be times when you encounter periods of blocked or depleted creative energy -- or so you think. Does this circumstance mean that you will never write again or produce the quality and quantity of previous work? Does it mean that you have lost your creative expression? Maybe, it means that it is time to change directions - to investigate and experience alternative ways for that expression to come to fruition. I decided to investigate "writer's block" from an "existential" view and then provide some steps to integrate your revitalized experiences into your creative gifts.

It is fairly obvious that when you are experiencing a "writer's block," it means that there is a "block in your writing." You go blank. Your creative juices may have dissipated. Your ideas may have stopped or your passion may have subsided. If you encountered an actual roadblock on a street, what would you do? Drive through the roadblock? Drive around it? Or take an alternative route to arrive at your destination? Hopefully, you would choose the latter option. So, let's transfer this information to your writer's block.

By making this block a friend and not your enemy or a monster lurking in the shadows, you also reduce the amount of negative energy paid to the block. In other words, the more that you focus on the block, the more that the flow of your words will be blocked. If you relax, you can learn to trust in the moment and use the time to hear the messages from your inner wisdom.

Interestingly, these same blocks can appear in your life. You may be at a crossroads, whether in a career, relationship, or personal issue. As a coach, I recognize that anyone who is experiencing a challenge, an obstacle or a block needs to reassess, reevaluate and CHANGE DIRECTIONS. While it may be difficult to investigate unchartered or unclear territory, the block is presenting itself for a reason. The block wants you to follow a different direction.

I am back to the changing of directions idea. The flow of energy has changed during any kind of block. It has changed because the previous interest, focus, or path has expended all of its energy. It is time to follow a new path. As Stephen Levine said, "A great block to nourishment of the soul is distrust. We don't trust ourselves, so we stay rooted in the easy and convenient."

Here are some possible solutions for those times when nothing is working to your satisfaction, whether in your personal or professional life.

1. GO WITH THE FLOW OR FOLLOW THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. As another coach remarked, "When you can't open a door with your head, then use a key." I would actually change those words around a bit. I say, "When you can't open the door with a key or known factors, try opening the door with your head and look for alternative answers." Remaining in the state of being blocked may leave you feeling tired, angry, or incompetent. Let go, relax, and free up your time and energy to see which path feels easy, comfortable and filled with inspiration. Create a new focus. I also say that when you can't find a light at the end of a tunnel, make your own light.

2. ACCEPT THAT YOUR BLOCK IS A GIFT. Our perceptions of events are related to our emotional reactions. Your block is occurring at the right time. As I believe, there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. It is allowing you to reevaluate your skills, interests, abilities, and inner wisdom. Use the time to notice and not to force an outcome. Pay attention to your environment. As an artist, aren't you noticing and getting in touch with the "inner" world of characters? How about taking a break and begin to notice the less than obvious, i.e., information contained beneath the level of your conscious awareness. Allow your subconscious to speak to you.

3. USE YOUR INTUITION. Your inner voice needs to be one of your best friends. It will tell you that you need a break or a diversion. Listening to that part of your psyche will bring you the messages or images inherent in coincidences and ultimate change. It will begin to weave the pattern of your next design, your next creation. Ultimately, you will move toward your true inner desires -- situations, experiences that attract, challenge, or satisfy us. It will open the doors to where we need to be at that moment.

4. WATCH FOR SYNCHRONICITY. When opportunity meets time, then you will be given the exact tools, images and characters needed to remove or at least, diminish your block.

5. DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME. Don't accept the fears of other people or those from your past. Your external world mirrors your internal blocks. Therefore, acknowledge and accept whatever ideas that come to you. You may be pushed to move toward unchartered territory. Explore those options. Don't judge them.

6. STAY CENTERED AND GROUNDED. We remain in control of our life by accepting ourself on an emotional level and then by maintaining our physical stamina. Some of the ways to maintain your energy is to Breathe, Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, Exercise at least 30 minutes three times a week, and Eat more alkaline foods (fruits & vegetables) rather than acidic foods (meat, sugar).

Once that you accept that your block exists for a reason, you will begin to feel a shift in energy. Accept the new discoveries and information and stay in that moment. Focus on your new direction and your block will lift slowly. Can you imagine what wondrous masterpieces await you?

By the way, these solutions apply even when life and its challenging circumstances beckon at your door.

Until next time.

Dr. Lorraine
Coach & Consultant

The Joy of Sustainable Cooking

What does that exactly mean? About six months ago, I started writing feature articles on the topic of sustainable foods for The American Institute of Wine & Food (http://www.aiwf.org/). Since the field of sustainability is receiving so much attention, I was interested in its affect on the culinary arts.

Basically, the essence of the sustainable food movement is about making wise decisions regarding what we eat, how we cook our food, and how we view the eating process. It is interesting to read about another application of psychology, i.e., how the psychology of food or the psychological aspects of food preferences affect our health, lifestyle, and nutrition. Sounds like an innovative concept, although there is a great deal of research about our food preferences, especially the unhealthy ones.

So, is there an attempt to remediate current social problems and issues with food? In other words, does our eating style have anything to do with our feelings, which in turn leads to other challenges? This "psychology of food" area peaked my interest. I came across some material from Brian Wansink, Ph.D., a University of Illinois marketing professor and his discussions about unhealthy food cravings and unintentional overeating.

Reasons for such behaviors abound. He discovered that individuals “cognitively” connect past memories with specific choices. This means that our thought process can tap into the most emotionally-driven memories that are locked in our brain. For example, ice cream cravings may originate from a desire to revisit positive, childhood memories and especially ones connected to eating a delicious ice cream cone.

I definitely understand that one. I always enjoyed a vanilla ice cream cone and chocolate and coffee and...Anyway,

I know that healing our relationship with hunger and food “requires looking beyond food to the bigger picture of your life.” The actual physical hunger or craving for a particular food may have more to do with the psychological reason for the craving. The real questions are, "What are you really craving for? What unexpressed emotion is substituted with food?" Thus, the focus on sustainable and conscious cooking may enter the picture, where food selections are based on a keen awareness of their effects on our physical and psychological health.

The rewards of sustainable and conscious cooking also intersect with the discovery of optional eating methods. Tal Ronnen in his 2009 book, The Conscious Cook, encourages readers to investigate and to create vegan meals. His philosophy of healthy eating is based on the avoidance of meat and dairy to reduce health risks. He also emphasizes that the omission of these foods does not mean “sacrificing taste or satisfaction.”

On the other hand, while this style of eating may not appeal to everyone, the choice of nutritionally, locally grown produce, along with seasonal food selections may advance your culinary knowledge and lock that type of eating in your brain. This action then makes it easier to select healthy food choices in the future. Making a firm decision to step away from mindless eating makes it easier to follow the plan of mindful choices.

Conscious cooking demands mindful selections of food items, while taking the time to become aware what is going on with your body and most importantly, your mind. Conscious cooking involves the selection of foods that ultimately heal your relationship with hunger and “unhealthy” eating patterns. Substituting food for unresolved feelings does not work in the long term.

For example, to prevent a sudden drop in blood sugar that triggers the release of stress hormones, look to eating any kind of berries, which are a great source of natural Vitamin C. In addition to preventing an increase in cortisol, a stress hormone, they are refreshing and delicious. Avocados, filled with Vitamin B, are great for the maintenance of nerves and brain cells. Unless you have an allergy to eating nuts, walnuts or almonds also replenish the stress-depleted nutrients.

The list of nutritional foods to alleviate a physical problem is extensive. Arthritis, diabetes, or high blood pressure can be altered by eating asparagus. Artichokes filled with magnesium may also help with diabetes and high cholesterol. Let’s not forget the amazing seasonal foods at our disposal. Check into your locally grown food producers or farmer’s markets for the high quality, seasonal fruits and vegetables.

Consumers are now able to make wise food decisions that promote healthy living and cooking. Conscious selection of foods that promote this healthy living means living a balanced life that also supports emotional health. Quoting some reasons for sustainable cooking and eating from SustainableTable.org, we learn that “1. It is Economical, 2. It’s Safer, 3. It’s Healthier, 4. It Tastes Better, and 5. It Tastes Like You Want It To.”

Celebrate your life. Celebrate your positive food choices. Celebrate your new sustainable cooking attitude.

Until next time,

Dr. Lorraine

Coach & Consultant

The Wisdom of Change

Have you ever noticed that the more you detest change, the more the need for change appears in your life? Let me prove my point. While it appeared outwardly that I was very accepting of and desired divergent experiences, I always disliked change and an upheaval of my “comfort zone.” I preferred the safe and secure. Then, I was introduced to the adage, “What you resist persists.”

What did that statement actually mean? I can compare it to a personal experience. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but when I turn on my computer, a box appears telling me that it is time to download the newest version of a computer program. I always click the box that says, “Remind me later,” instead of “Install now.” And guess what it does? The “remind me later” admonition keeps popping up to remind me to install the new program. And guess what I do? I keep clicking, “Remind me later,” and the saga continues.

One morning I realized that sometimes I keep putting off inevitable change that beckons at my door. If I would only “install now” or proceed with any necessary change needed in the moment, life would be easier. In other words, there is no “remind me later, “ when it comes to uncomfortable change in our life. Change is supposed to invoke some discomfort. Ironically, it is in the discomfort that clarity is found.

If the sheer word, image, or feeling of needing to make some change, whether personal or organizational, keeps appearing in your life, it is a sure sign that either you need to be proactive and make a change or inevitable change will happen to you and it may not be to your liking. Learning to be proactive is empowering, while being passive and doing nothing or deciding to wait, will cause a loss in your self-esteem.

I definitely understand this change process. I have watched how I have changed over the years. I have watched how I have softened. The losses and disappointments and the peak and valleys in my life slowly etched away my natural inclination to invite the new or different. I had a tendency to change my external relationships and circumstances to meet my standards and expectations. I realize that the only person that I could and needed to change was ME. I have learned the necessity for flexibility and compromise.

In the early 1990’s I lamented over a few losses that I incurred. I ended a relationship, lost a job, buried a beloved pet, had surgery and made a life changing decision to be a caregiver for my terminally-ill mother. I was in a terrible quandary. I had no idea of the massive amounts of change that I would subsequently encounter.

As fate would have it, I came across an article, “Good Luck, Bad Luck” written by Linda Weltner. The author emphasized that “the worst situations can usher in the most wonderful opportunities.” She pointed to the concept of “happenstance” or the belief that “chance” events can have both positive or negative consequences. It all depends on our interpretation of the event.

I interpret change as a combination of synchronicity and unconscious desire. Our external conflicts are mirroring what we feel on the inside but what we want to do on the outside. Who knows what waits for us when we break down our internal barriers and move through our fears?

We can only be comfortable wearing our own shoes. In the midst of confusion and conflict, it is easier to leave our ego at the door and hear the underlying message about our need to change; otherwise, inevitably, the experience, person, conflict, or circumstance will appear again and again in our life. Remember, what we resist persists! These changes are the keys to our future. Even minor change can light the path to our journey and ultimately to our life destination.

There is a time in everyone’s life where we need to stand up for what we believe. We have to stand up for what makes us an individual with unique skills, abilities, interests, and passions. When we attempt to measure our individuality and success against someone else, we fail. In fact, the second that we follow this path, we fail. We fail to exhibit our natural-born talents. We fail to wear our own shoes toward happiness and fulfillment. In other words, we fail.

When we embrace our uniqueness, we now begin to welcome the changes that want to move us forward toward our destiny or life purpose. I end with the words of Linda Weltner. She writes,

This is a bad time for the country economically. The cutbacks,

the layoffs, the political and economic dislocations, are bound to be

reflected in all our lives one way or another. Jobs are on the line

everywhere; positions we once thought secure have suddenly become

vulnerable…there’s a sadness in being wrenched from familiar routines,

and the clutch of uncertainty too, but in all this shifting and grinding

of gears, there’s always that faraway glint of promise.”

By the way, this article was published in 1990. The pendulum eventually swung back from loss only to ignite the creation of significant jobs across a multi-technological arena. Today, we face the same hurdles. The pendulum will swing back again only to create highly creative, innovative, and emerging industries. The current paradigm shifts in economical, community, and global systems are and will continue to be the result of change.

So, what change beckons you? What part of your personality do you need to change? What area of your life could benefit from relevant change? How can you give voice to a new change?

Bottom line – Embrace change and your unique personality that begs for expression. Instead of following the crowd, use your innovative skills to promote understanding, acceptance, and even anticipation of…change!

Until next time,

Dr. Lorraine
Coach & Consultant

© June, 2009