Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Calling All Change...
In an earlier blog, I discussed the "Wisdom of Change." I can tell you that change has followed me around all of my life. In fact, the more that I didn't want to change my perceptions, actions, reactions, beliefs, attitudes, or whatever, the more that I was forced to check my "change lens."
I mentioned in that earlier blog that change knows when to call on you. If the feeling or thought of needing to make some change, whether personal or professional, keeps appearing in your life, it is a sure sign that either you need to be proactive and make a change or inevitable change will happen to you and it may not be to your liking.
So, how do you go about making a change in your life? How and when do you decide to stop wearing those way too comfortable, beat up shoes and start to trade them in for some new shoes that may take some time feeling comfortable? A long time ago, I read a book by William Bridges called Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes. It is a great and informative resource for anyone experiencing a life crisis, personal transition, or an "age" change. The author recognized that while the "letting go" of an unworkable situation is difficult, it seems that trusting the next step is even more painful. I like to point to the "fear of the unknown" as a factor. Future choices always demand bold risks.
Any type of transition or change also signifies some form of renewal, whether it be in the form of a thought process, behavior, person, activity, and in today's economy, a job or new career. Bridges noted some rules to follow, while being in a state of transition. He said to remember that the element of "resistance" comes up and most importantly, first, there is an ending, then, there is a beginning with some "empty time" in between.
I never liked that last point. What are we supposed to do with all of that "empty time?" Actually, that empty time is a blessing. Time doesn't have to be empty. It can be a time to explore some of your passions. It is a time to start including a creative activity in your life. It could be a time to clean out your closet and become involved in some serious decluttering in your house. By getting rid of items that we have outgrown or that serve no purpose, this opens the door for more improved items or situations to enter our home and life. Here is the point where the new beginnings can start to take shape. We have to trust in this process.
Also accept that change comes with some confusion and distress. Those are normal reactions to any transition or impending change. Here again is another opportunity to use some of that confusion as a spark of energy to move you toward another place that suits your inner core. Sometimes, ambiguity forces us to explore alternative options. And sometimes, we need to just stay with the ambiguity, until it decides to reveal those other options. In either case, you are learning new coping skills. Maybe it even means that you are taking the time to find out how you cope. Sometimes, we become so busy in the "doing" that it becomes robotic and we never identify coping skills that may not be working for us anymore.
Thus comes a shift and we find ourselves reacting differently to the challenges that are appearing in our life. I have learned that whenever I am being forced to elevate my personal growth, my life jolts me out the proverbial "comfort zone."
So how can you increase your chances of finding inner meaning and purpose from all of these changes? Instead of reinventing the transition wheel, here are some of Bridges' ideas.
Until next time.
Dr. Lorraine
In an earlier blog, I discussed the "Wisdom of Change." I can tell you that change has followed me around all of my life. In fact, the more that I didn't want to change my perceptions, actions, reactions, beliefs, attitudes, or whatever, the more that I was forced to check my "change lens."
I mentioned in that earlier blog that change knows when to call on you. If the feeling or thought of needing to make some change, whether personal or professional, keeps appearing in your life, it is a sure sign that either you need to be proactive and make a change or inevitable change will happen to you and it may not be to your liking.
So, how do you go about making a change in your life? How and when do you decide to stop wearing those way too comfortable, beat up shoes and start to trade them in for some new shoes that may take some time feeling comfortable? A long time ago, I read a book by William Bridges called Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes. It is a great and informative resource for anyone experiencing a life crisis, personal transition, or an "age" change. The author recognized that while the "letting go" of an unworkable situation is difficult, it seems that trusting the next step is even more painful. I like to point to the "fear of the unknown" as a factor. Future choices always demand bold risks.
Any type of transition or change also signifies some form of renewal, whether it be in the form of a thought process, behavior, person, activity, and in today's economy, a job or new career. Bridges noted some rules to follow, while being in a state of transition. He said to remember that the element of "resistance" comes up and most importantly, first, there is an ending, then, there is a beginning with some "empty time" in between.
I never liked that last point. What are we supposed to do with all of that "empty time?" Actually, that empty time is a blessing. Time doesn't have to be empty. It can be a time to explore some of your passions. It is a time to start including a creative activity in your life. It could be a time to clean out your closet and become involved in some serious decluttering in your house. By getting rid of items that we have outgrown or that serve no purpose, this opens the door for more improved items or situations to enter our home and life. Here is the point where the new beginnings can start to take shape. We have to trust in this process.
Also accept that change comes with some confusion and distress. Those are normal reactions to any transition or impending change. Here again is another opportunity to use some of that confusion as a spark of energy to move you toward another place that suits your inner core. Sometimes, ambiguity forces us to explore alternative options. And sometimes, we need to just stay with the ambiguity, until it decides to reveal those other options. In either case, you are learning new coping skills. Maybe it even means that you are taking the time to find out how you cope. Sometimes, we become so busy in the "doing" that it becomes robotic and we never identify coping skills that may not be working for us anymore.
Thus comes a shift and we find ourselves reacting differently to the challenges that are appearing in our life. I have learned that whenever I am being forced to elevate my personal growth, my life jolts me out the proverbial "comfort zone."
So how can you increase your chances of finding inner meaning and purpose from all of these changes? Instead of reinventing the transition wheel, here are some of Bridges' ideas.
- Take your time
- Don't act for the sake of action
- Recognize why you are uncomfortable
- Take care of yourself
- Talk to someone
- Use this transition as the motivation to learn something new
- Recognize (even if you may not like it) that transitions follow a certain process
Until next time.
Dr. Lorraine
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